Progress over perfection

How often do we get it in our heads that our everyday lives should be perfect? Like the lives, you see played out in glamorous magazines, social media, or even on television.

“Perfectionism is self-abuse of the highest order.”

We still yearn to lead these perfect lives. Having the perfect family, the perfect car, the perfect job. Whatever the case may be, we all have it in ourselves to want to be perfect. When looking at your idols, whether it be an actress, a model, or another mom on social media and watching their lives unfold and idolizing to be just like them. It can be overwhelming and discouraging seeing the better part of peoples lives, because what they choose to share, what they show all seems so easy flowing and perfect.

For me, as a blogger, I choose to share our better days, our happy moments. What people don’t usually see is how flawed and messy and chaotic our days usually are. So, when I receive messages from people saying “How do you keep your house clean all the time? How do you manage three kids? How do you make gourmet meals every single night?” and the truth is, I don’t. I choose to share the roasted chicken in the oven, the kid’s room when I finally decide to make the beds, or the days where I don’t look like I haven’t slept in 8 years. To be honest, on my shit days, when I serve pb&js for dinner or when I have a huge pile of laundry sitting on my couch, those are the days I shut out and beat myself up for not being good enough.

It’s inevitable for us to have such high expectations on ourselves to live a life so perfect. With all the mom-shaming, and glamorizing in our society, I think we as people put way too much stress on ourselves to be the best that we can be. It’s exhausting. I honestly find myself procrastinating a lot more because perfectionism is motivated by fear. Learning to accept our flaws and being ok with growing at our own pace is something that I feel so strongly about, and constantly work on within myself.

Progress over perfection.

It’s not about being perfect. It’s about the effort you put into being the best version of yourself. The happiest version of yourself. When you implement small changes in your everyday life, and you start at your own pace, you will see change. If you feel motivated enough to keep going, that’s where you will be the most happiest with yourself. You cannot change your life overnight. Focus on making one change at a time, and eventually, you will see a bigger transformation. Just don’t give up.

Writing all this out has me feeling a little bias, and that’s just because I try every day to stay positive and motivated to help inspire others. But what I don’t realize is that I don’t need to be perfect to inspire others. I realized people get inspired by how I deal with my imperfections and praise me for sharing my flaws.

Oh, I can’t even begin to tell you how much time I have wasted trying to be the “Perfect mom + Housewife,” to go to bed so exhausted and unfulfilled, just because I needed my house to be completely spotless. Or the number of times, I have wasted on trying to take the perfect photo, instead of enjoying the moment as it passed by. There is just way too many things I regret doing, all to keep that “perfect” moment.

What type of life am I teaching my children how to live, if I fuss that they are making a huge mess in the living room, just moments after I cleaned it. What’s life without those messy memories? I’d rather wake up to a house full of toys than to go to bed with not a single laughter roaming my hallways. We are people, as mothers, wives, or colleagues, need to learn that Perfectionism is unattainable and to strive to be your best and live your best life- not the way to world views it, but how you choose to view it.

There will be dirty dishes, stained carpets, and some days, not enough motivation to get done what you wish to get done. That’s ok. That’s where progress will play its part. Focusing on the simple pleasures and learning that perfectionism can leave you feeling empty and little room for improvement and joy. Enjoy the smaller steps of life, and remember you may not be perfect, but if you stop trying, there will no doubt be perfect moments in your life.

September 4, 2018