A fresh Canvas


Last night I forced myself to bed early. The amount of guilt I carried with me throughout the day was immense, and I just needed a do-over. badly. It seemed like yesterday by the end of the afternoon, I started getting angry and impatient at every little thing. and I know the majority of it stems from the unhappiness within myself, not because the kids were acting wild as they should.

Sometimes it’s hard to stay on track with the everyday tasks, and for me, when they seem to get a bit overwhelming, I tend to shut down, and get frustrated at the lack of being “good enough”. Why didn’t I have the energy to fold those clothes today? Or make a Pinterest worthy dinner? Why haven’t I picked up my book in the last two days? Or why is my kid still in his pajamas when it’s almost dinner time? Some days more than others, I tend to put so much on my plate, and my standards for being a “perfect housewife” is much too high.

It’s all just so overwhelming, and frustrating when I just don’t get it right. When my daily rhythm seems to get thrown off because the dog kept me up, or I stayed up a little later than usual. Or because someone decided to play with a brand new jug of tea and spill it all over my kitchen floor, so I have spend an extra hour or so wiping down all the walls, and mopping the entire kitchen floor for the 2nd time that day (cough, cough, Ethan lol). Regardless of the struggle, we as moms need to learn that no matter how successful our day has been (or not been in my case), your feelings, and self-care should always come first.

Learning to take a deep breath, and maneuver through our daily frustrations is something that will help us navigate and understand how we can overcome these struggles. Ask yourself. Do you have too much on your plate? Is your OCD too much sometimes? Are your standards too high? All of these things that eat us up, and make us feel unworthy of ourselves, are things we can change our perspective on, to make us feel like we are enough. 

This morning, I woke up feeling refreshed and motivated. I woke up at 5 am, which hasn’t happened in a few weeks, I got out of bed, treated myself to a latte, and sat in the dark, in the quiet and reflected with positivity, reminding myself. “Today is going to be a good day, no matter what I get done, or don’t get done, I am worthy, and I am enough.” Sometimes it’s these little pep talks to ourselves that we need the most.

Sometimes we need to learn to rewire our brains and learn to slow down and reorganize our lives, learning to start and finish one task at a time and taking time for yourself to carve out your dreams and inspiration. We all desire to live up to our full potential. We strive, we dream, we yearn. 

All of these dreams and goals you have for tomorrow, start with today. Take the time, and do it at a steady pace, one you can keep up with. One that will be effective. Learn to dream, but still live in the present day, because at the end of the day, your kids, your family, and your health are what’s important. If we mess up today, just remember, tomorrow is a new start, a fresh canvas.

April 4, 2018